I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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