11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
