Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
