every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The best revenge is premature balding
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
