ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
