What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
