Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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