Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
