So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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