Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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