hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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