this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
