oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize