I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
