walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
