morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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