A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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