I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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