I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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