I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
