Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
