Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
