even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
