my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
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