I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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