Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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