Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
