I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
