# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
