Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
