just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
