What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
