Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
