I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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