The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
