Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
