I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
