chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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