I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
