I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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