i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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