i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
