Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
