I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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