why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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