She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
