how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize