Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
