I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
