Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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