I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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