i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
