i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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