that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
