Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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