Do vagina's smell?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
