home. puking in laundry basket.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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