He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
