I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
