Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You're completely useless in the revolution.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
