I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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