Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
