my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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