I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
