And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
