I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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