is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Acid is not a monday night drug
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
